OUT NOW - The Lawrence Arms - We Are The Champions Of The World: The Best Of

As most of you know, THE LAWRENCE ARMS’ new album, We Are The Champions Of The World, came out on Friday. Well, we here at FAT decided to have a little fun with the so-called “Champions” by, uh, creating an unauthorized Easter egg on the album. Okay, okay…maybe it wasn’t exactly on purpose, but who cares? If you dwell on the negative, you only spoil the fun, right? As soon as we shared the news with the band, we asked the illustrious Brendan Kelly to weigh in on the whole thing. Boy, was he game. Thing is, to really sell our Easter egg narrative, we held off posting Brendan’s original statement until, you know, Easter. So, put down the marshmallow peeps for a sec and check it out…

“Greetings, loyal subjects, and welcome to the single most important date in human history: March 30, 2018, the date in which we, The Lawrence Arms, the current champions of the world, release The Lawrence Arms: We Are The Champions Of The World to you, our loyal subjects. And If you like slapdick wordplay like the above lazy syntactical palindrome, you’re gonna love We Are the Champions of the World: a nonstop roller coaster of laughs, tears, sighs, hobos with their flies unzipped, sighs, tears, nonstop roller coasters of laughs, and a whole slew of songs spanning our entire 20-year career.

A zillion thanks to everyone at FAT and to David and Eric for helping this awesome compendium come to life, and also to everyone at Asian Man and Epitaph for allowing all this stuff to exist in one spectacular package. Hey, SPEAKING of spectacular packages….funny story: My dick is so tiny and malformed that your mom almost…..SORRY! That’s the notes for my other speech I’m giving later on this afternoon at the Elks Lodge. Anyway….Some of you have noticed that FAT pulled a real boner and put something on the album that didn’t belong. Well, the good news is that this means that this first Stop-the-presses! Edition of this awesome double album is sure to become a collector’s item, just like that one stamp that’s printed upside-down or that Rollie Fingers rookie Fleer card where his nutsack is accidentally hanging out of his uniform. So that’s what we call an unexpected wonderful outcome. It’s kinda like when you knock yourself out walking into a parking meter, go into a coma and somehow wake up bilingual out of nowhere, or when you end up actually loving the child you never wanted to conceive. Take THAT, my parents!

Secondly, it means that you completists can soon buy the whole thing again, which means more sweet, sweet money for all of us at Lawrence Arms world HQ to spend on more hot tubs and chocolate sauce fountains. The lesson here, folks, is twofold: 1, internet piracy seems like fun now, but it’s only those honest citizens who purchased the album legitimately that now have this soon-to-be priceless, rare, not-meant-to-exist artifact, and 2, The Lawrence Arms are the best band of all time. End transmission. Release the hounds. See y’all on tour.”

Catch The Lawrence Arms on tour starting this week!